Something is happening

[do you hear that crushing sound?]; 

March 2026 (♓︎)

it’s what the wind whispers to me

saliva jumps from its mouth onto my lips in closeness

i never flinch

we bond this way

during my alone time i am watching ice melt as spring emerges onto a frozen lake

the sun bakes

ice on a river

air for marine life liquidates

i feel the safety to feel reaching my hot eyes

i’ve always been a cry baby

i always enjoyed watching a river flow

i slide my hand across the lake

ice skating with my vision, followed by a sting

pain makes me feel alive

i share it with no one

but sitting with you is like sitting with music

1:46 am

finally let out an exhale

i look in the mirror and look back at me

being a reflection of time has yet to save me

i’ll wait because i believe in everything

i can be anything

hear the verification in the atoms of my make

i wanna be hugged gorgeously like an art deco frame

become a duo of taste, fitted by measure

i never want to be let go of

i bury my face in the suggested ribcage of ignorance

my multitudes overwhelm and both gravitize me

back to myself , we meet again

& as a conduit of healing i get so flustered whenever i practice selfishness

when i have to face the world again

i brave the act of cowardice

so still as if in shock

stuck in front of the mirror

see myself in everything but eventually my writing sounds monotonous

i betray the parts of myself that has never emerged

the divisive,

the unique and challenging

and i become another person thats falls in line w performative  obedience

when i try to bond with others i ask them if they’re interested in being elusive with me

a soldier, a pawn, a sacrifice — temporarily adept

will you take my hand and walk into the fire?

passion dances in our face, our bodies sweat with anticipation

every night i remember i am only a fragment of the periodic table

humans i crush on hate to hear my sacrificial plans

i was only flirting with existence

i’d jump off that cliff if it meant distant strangers can eat plenty

i’m always thinking about the ants

the clouds that watch me cry, embracing my descent into an ascent

water me

my broken bones & bleeding limbs return back to the earth that birthed me

equilibrium is the law of this plane

these tears water crops

it’s gravitational pull can compose a lake to look back into

bright sky in the background of a gaze downward makes us/me wonder/wander

when i dream of heaven i think of space

when i’m in a long distance relationship i feel like heaven is a neighboring dichotomy from the moment 

like a bakery i smell her purpose & business plans as wind passes it by

space as a matter that acknowledges earth’s capacity

i remain earth bound in jealousy studying it—

to be weighed

may my sacrifices earn me peace 

letting go can be so dangerous to a strangers watching eye

so i perform permanence for the clouds

i look around and see so many timelines

smell so many focuses and absolutions

i taste the condensation of my heart because i’m dehydrated

we need to fix that

i touch blessings like walking into a door that has beaded curtains obscuring the destination

banging into your forehead

these sounds bounce off the interiors of your mind like a injured bird sings rested on the beams of a cathedral

everytime i walk i hold onto the railing of faith

from my peripheral i sometimes watch it because i’ve been working on this clumsiness

hold your applauses

i remember to eat because the guy i used to like sometimes cooked for me

and he spoon fed his food to me

like i fell on his doorstep and he’s nursing me back to life

he’s perfect because i gave him the opportunity to be

how do u expect me to fly away now?

my wings were gifted to me from god

but to stay with him i chose not to use them

this is how intense i live

i live like i love

i forget how to walk if it meant being dragged on by love

my heart

i’d forget how to laugh if it meant a lover could never transmute a darker moment into a beautiful lesson

i would finish my masters so my love could attend my graduation with fake flowers in hand because they remembered me saying i’d hate to witness beauty die

\

but it’s never enough

i live to watch my lover drop offers at the shrine

to tell me to never touch a door again when they’re around

to worry and talk to themselves wiring messages toward my phone number because maybe someday i’ll remember i have a phone

i fall in love with women and men the third mysterious make of humanity everyday

i feel everything always

i see the everything in everyone

i want to reach for it and have it surround me shyly like caught in a spider web,

a felt disaster

always reaching for mutual attention

to be born from love how can i ignore it?

beauty is in the wind today

invisible and soft spoken

when you ask to read my writing i say no and resume to mutter them underneath my breath like a prayer

i’ve always been a subconscious fingerprint glowing within society

i’m glad you decided to listen to me today

i write to continue the song

translating a primal force