Archaic & everted insecurity; 

November 2025 (♏︎)

when i write i feel my spine vibrate 

like gps on my phone and i’ve arrived at my destination 

theres no sightseeing potential here

i get so bored i make it a problem

a dripping faucet problem

droplets hitting the sink become a rhythm i memorize that reminds me of the sound of footsteps as i jog an always forward

i look back when i run incase someone is chasing me

rainfall on a window shield —humming

colliding footprints to ground —drumming

footprints colliding with ground

i run,

so far and look so often back in the distance to see if anyone follows. i never forget to do this chore

looking back like theres a midterm on history

passing is a keepsake 

i study the night before because i forget the lyrics to songs once lived & often

one day as a practice in optimism i believe one day there will be someone who memorizes the expressions on my back

since i cant do it for me

they predict the bouncing of my hair 

the way i trip and stumble because i wasn’t looking forward

but no one is chasing me, no one is  keeping my pace today 

and i’m fine with it

because i have the desire to walk gently into the sea

but my friend told me i’ll get cold

spotlighted by moonlight that looks after me

i believe i wont be cold

i make peace with racing only with my shadow until day becomes night because the moon cheers for me

when i get tired my heart reminds me to keep the beat of the now

my pulsating heart reminds me of my throbbing yearning for the moon

even when she’s not seen the moon lurks in the shadows & her beauty is mysetrious and unwavering. always felt

wind-like

even the tides grow to potentially kiss her

her mysterious essence

i want to be as beautiful as her

when its midnight and she’s chatty we whisper the swapping of beauty secrets, careful to not wake the earth

we have a generosity off and she always wins as i’m always catching my breath

telling me the key to her essence is finding her light

i search for my light and hope its sticky

sticky like the sadness that clings onto my friends when i share my worries

they’re not that bad i just have a way with words

but i never stop apologizing for its stickiness

sticky worry & guilt that reaches out to gravity, its heaviness weighs on us like the moons mysterious beauty shields the night

because i am heavy i know that i can carry all of me when not

i research my heaviness like its found by geological oceanographers 

and im known as a fallen lost sculpture hugged by coral

marine life flows through me like circulating blood and styrofoam makes up my mass

i should be floating this heaviness should be floating

but i smother the sand like how light embraces the craters of the moon

as a night-blooming jasmine opens up to her wisdom, i open up to being enchanted

facing her naked with vulnerability and my heaviness is sticky

like skinning an animal my insecurities becomes everted

and cowers to the wind

my peace with all of me stings the air now that its

ornamentally outward

not borrowed but seen and once again emerged,

sitting on foldable tables out on the lawn of a yard sale

my insecurity will be far from me, rehoused & outdated

this is also what the moon shares with me

i always listen to contemporary debri

my unflinching remains archaic